Thursday, March 19, 2015

Identity Crisis

I think I'm having an identity crisis. A couple of days ago, I went to the bank to submit my internet banking form. The officer looked at it and frowned. She picked up my proof of identity and compared it with the name on my form.

“They don’t match,” she said.

“What?”

“Who is Laughing Jackass? A friend of yours?

“I have no idea.”

“Then why did you mention it on your form?” She turned the form around so I could see it. “Have you changed your name? In case you have, we’ll require your new proof of ID.”

“But I haven’t changed my name,” I insisted. “I'm perfectly happy with it. In fact, I'm proud of my name.”

“It doesn't seem like it, does it?” She leaned across her desk and peered at me over her glasses. I think she was trying to figure out if I looked like a donkey or a kookaburra. She reminded me of my math teacher. I backed away. She picked up something from a dusty file and slammed it in front of me. “Here’s a new form. When you make up your mind, fill it up and bring it back to me.”

“Okay,” I scowled at her and walked out of the bank. As I made my way back to the office I heard a ping on my smartphone. I looked at the screen and slapped my forehead.

‘Laughing Jackass’ was my eBay login.

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